(Just came out of a meeting with other students and myself talking with the playwrite of The Women Of Lockerbie.)
She had mentioned how the mothers of people that had died told every detail of when they heard the news.
-One inparticular- She turned on the cold, not the hot, but the cold water to fill her watering can. She gave every detail of every step as she walked towards the pointsettas. She wasn’t even here anymore. She was in the moment, reliving it. She talked to the playwrite(Excuse me please for forgetting the playwrite’s name) about how she could have done something differently to create a new chain of events. Maybe used warm water instead, maybe watered the green plants instead of the pointsettas.
As I didn’t get the chance to ask the playwrite my question, I will ask myself, and my readers.
Why is it that when we or someone we know experience a tragedy, that we blame ourselves? We go throughout that day, following our steps, and think of something we could have down differently to change the outcome. Why is that?
I don’t understand. She talked about this time of hate we have to go through to grieve. She also told a story of a mother who attacked an Indian lady at the bank, thinking India had caused this. Her children had to pry her off of this Indian bank teller.
She hated the person who she thought caused it. Who was involved. Isn’t that more logical than hating herself?
I understand that almost nobody is capable of being completely logical after a loved one’s death, but it just doesn’t seem normal or even healthy for us to blame ourselves.
What we should be focusing on is how to make the best out of the situation. Like Olive said, “to love, not hate.” And as the Women of Lockerbie said, “Not let hate win.”